Facing fears and finding the way…
Gotta admit, I have a good life. Great husband and son, family and friends. I am retired from professional life as a dance teacher and have the free time to volunteer, play with our doggies, go to yoga classes and make jewelry. I have, however, paid my dues, struggling to make ends meet, to be an artist, to climb the ladder in the working world, to find where I belong and on and on… Looking back, it was all a pathway to where I find myself in the final “quarter” of life.
All along the way, the major theme has been finding the strength and self worth to deal with all the fears that hit you at every turn. Am I good enough? Do they like me? Will my demons appear at an inappropriate time. Can I actually take on new tasks that I’ve never done before and succeed? These are just a few. I don’t know how or where I got it from, the inner knowing voice inside that always pushed me to walk through the doubts and fears. It got me through years and years of inner struggle and BAM, I’m a 69 year old hippie, loving life (most of the time), being creative, and doing things my way. This does not mean I don’t still experience struggle. It’s just easier, knowing I have done it so many times in the past.
At this juncture, doing art shows (9 to 12 per year) got to be too much, too hard, and not fun anymore. In the past few years I’ve cut back more and more. Now, it’s two local shows per year and a few events to fundraise for my favorite charity, Blessings in a Backpack. I am fortunate to be a featured jewelry artist at the Muse, in downtown Frederick, MD and just had my website professionally designed by Duffy Hobbs. So, here’s the deal, I am in my happy place.
What’s the secret? In my particular situation, it’s act as if, until you’ve got it. Your confidence grows, allowing you to give more love and experience more peace. I have to give my husband a lot of credit for seeing my potential, encouraging me to do whatever I needed to do. I have learned to accept when someone does not appreciate my work or even does not like me. Reaching that place is the gift that keeps on giving. Also, raising a child teaches you much about yourself, about acceptance and unconditional love. Practicing yoga is one of my awesome loves, keeps me physically and spiritually healthy. I hope these confessions might help someone to persevere along their way.